written by  Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH

When I'm an old lady,

I'll live with my son ...
I'll make his life happy
And filled with such fun;

I want to pay back
All the joy he's provided;

Returning each deed ...
Oh!  He'll be so excited!

When I'm an old lady
And live with my son ...
I'll write on the wall
With red, white, and blue;

And bounce on the furniture
While wearing my shoes

 

I'll drink from the carton
And then leave it out;
I'll stuff all the toilets,
And oh! ... Will he shout! 

When I'm an old lady
And live with my son ...
When he's on the phone 

And just out of reach ...
I'll get into things
Like sugar and bleach;

Oh, he'll snap his fingers
And then shake his head;
And when things get tough ...
I'll hide under the bed.

When I'm an old lady
And live with my son ...
I'll sit close to the TV,
Through the channels I'll click;
I'll cross both my eyes
To see if they stick;
I'll take off my socks
And throw one away,

And play in the mud
Until the end of the day.

When I'm an old lady
And live with my son ...
When he cooks dinner
And calls me to meals,

I'll not eat my green beans
Or salads congealed;
I'll gag on my oatmeal,

Spill milk on the table,
And when he gets angry

I'll run as fast as I'm able. 

And later in bed,
I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer
And then close my eyes;
My son will look down 

With a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan,
"She's so sweet when she's sleeping."

author unknown

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